missing-strings:

Can’t say my mom was too happy with my senior pictures…

(via transistorrevolt)

whattothewhatwhat:

this new Modern Baseball song is sick

(via transistorrevolt)

spoken-not-written:

renaroo123:

spoken-not-written:

I WAS TAKING A SELFIE AND WAS GONNA MAKE A TEXT POST SAYING HI I’M PETER PAN BUT MY GRANDMA SAW ME AND I’VE NEVER BEEN SO TERRIFIED AND THIS HAPPENED

image

Jake that’s a pot…

You’re a pot.

(via cucalorus)

yourpersonalcheerleader:

You are not a burden.

You are not a bother.

You enhance the lives of others.

People smile, not groan, when you text them.

Your voice.

Your presence.

You, matter.

(via cucalorus)

caswithashotgun:

caswithashotgun:

"if you don’t consider breasts sexual organs then why do you care if i grab them"
well EXCUSE ME BUT IF I JUST STRUTTED UP AND GRABBED YOUR EAR AND FELT IT UP LIKE MMMM YEAH BABY I BET YOU HEAR REAAAL GOOD WOULD YOU NOT BE UNCOMFORTABLE

glad to see y’all spreading the word

(via transistorrevolt)

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(Source: artvevo, via cucalorus)

notdannyphantom:

Dude, as a kid, i used to be  like “what is she saying. it’s so smart omfg” but like 6 years later i realize that it’s actually the most general algebraic principle and i am sixteen

(via cucalorus)

funny-text-posts:

Part 2 of my favourite text posts

(via cucalorus)

thatweirdcanadian:

myocardiac:

i couldnt find my headphones and its late at night

solution: get a stethoscope and put it up to the speaker with the computer on low volume

if i cant find my headphones what makes you think im going to find a stethoscope just lying around

(Source: glowwire, via cucalorus)

ultimateventist:

charlesoberonn:

If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.

 

(via cucalorus)

blastortoise:

okay but when you have holocaust survivors and people who were activists during the civil rights movement supporting mike brown and then KKK members and neo nazi’s supporting the officer you should be able to figure out which side is the right one.

(via undeceased)

shingekinokyojinheaven:

awwww-cute:

The face she gives me when she wants to get on the couch

let her on the damn couch you monster

(via cucalorus)

jimdoesntcarrey:

jimdoesntcarrey:

i have a speech in Art tomorrow on Surrealism and this is all i have so far

image

update: the class groaned collectively 

(via cucalorus)

crustpunkery:

I saw this commercial after staying up all night and all I could think of was to do this

(Source: killgod2004pissbitch, via cucalorus)